Crooked Purple Rain! - The English Major's Dilemma

25th January 2012

Post reblogged from Jaki Griot Productions with 25 notes

The English Major’s Dilemma

I’m judging you.

Right now.

Every time you write a sentence I get an idea of who you are as a person. I form opinions based on what you convey. That’s what exchanging ideas is supposed to do. In order to understand your thoughts, I need you to write or speak in a way that expresses them clearly. I do. It helps if I don’t have to keep asking you to repeat yourself or if you misspell words so much so that I can’t comprehend what they mean. I also admit that when someone has a gift at communication, I think highly of them. I love when you write in a way that lets me not only understand your point-of-view but fully feel your experience. That gets me wet. It makes me want to lean in and learn from you.

But I hate the majority of English Majors I meet. There. I said it. I really dislike them. This is my confession. Yes, even though I was one.

But why? They are usually well-read and well-spoken. They use spell-check. They are grammatically correct and use proper punctuation. They never ever confuse “their” and “they’re” because apparently that is the most heinous thing an educated human being can do.

But I hate them. I hate them because they forget the purpose of language. Language is about conveying thoughts and ideas to the people around us. And some thoughts need to be written. Some thoughts are meant to be spoken out loud. Some thoughts are spelled differently. And thoughts are really motherfucking fucking vulgar. Because Language moves us and connects us. Language is fluid even as it demands respect for its rules.

Language is also a barrier. It won’t let me tell the Latina woman on the bus how much I love her shoes because I was far too lazy to take those Spanish classes seriously. And it’s her fault for being in my country and not learning to speak to me on my level at my command. Right? Right? Language is classist. It expects me to understand Shakespeare as well as Langston Hughes. And while William might ponder wherefore art thou, Langston might holla’, “He be o’ dere!” And each one of those men breathed a peculiar art into the world but the English Majors debate and attempt to make me choose.

I won’t because Language is sexist. Each female I write about has to have a vagina carefully rewritten into her sentence. Or she has to stand out in a dress in the sunshine or she will become another generic “he” in the background. I can’t express being one person who is a she and often a he and occasionally both and neither at all because it confuses everyone, including myself. Language is ablest. I’m allowed to call you stupid or slow because you didn’t write the way I expect. Which tells those who have difficulty with their words that they are less than the rest because they didn’t make their point as eloquently. Most people wouldn’t dream to taunt a deaf person for not hearing them whisper. Yet I can sit at my computer and correct someone’s words like a college term paper and be treated like I’m a genius by my peers? What about the people living with disabilities? Are they banned from Language too?

Language expects you to use words that require a license to handle. I refuse to speak in words that can’t be universally understood. If I’m not comprehended, I make a point to give a definition. Because Language wasn’t always patient with me but my parents were. My teachers were. My friends were. But everyone does not get those opportunities. If the word is impossible and someone says “unpossible”, I do believe correcting them can be beneficial. Is it beneficial to belittle them in the process? Is in necessary in that moment? Is in relevant to anything besides your ego?

And to all the self-identified “Grammar Nazis”, is this a name you really want to claim? You like the idea of oppressing people with language in order to further your idea of what Language should be? Beating people down then patting yourselves on the back? You are the high lords who demand strict dedication to something our society that fully admits is fickle, subjective and constantly evolving.

I won’t say there isn’t a place for rules. We live in a society of forms, manuscripts and templates. But everyone wasn’t meant to be an editor or a writer. And I fully believe everyone has the right to be heard without being ridiculed for it. I want people to be free to learn from their mistakes or to create from them or to just be able to fucking have them. Language is a free form design with a purpose. The purpose of being understood. Now if only people let us enjoy that.

I’m re-posting the whole thing because it nails how my views on language evolved the more mature I became. It’s the reason why I can write songs with titles like “Schadenfreude” without looking down on people who don’t know what it means.

Source: jakigriot